these are our plans for your reading week. since you donâ€™t give a shit ’bout assignmentsyou’re going back to berlin. because we know you are stingy as hell, yougonna go by train which is cheapest… …. and make only one stop to get somegerman hot-dogs. nom nom… go check for tickets on the internet,i want the cheapest we can get.
watch a movie online, my fã¼hrer… we can’t… we can’t connect to the internet. the guys at the lrc are tryin to fix it.
the guys from clayhill should… now… …get out! the fuckin pricks!!! the retarded fucking pricks!!! they dare to call themselves technicianswhen they are not able to fix even a walkie-talkie. even the bitches outside are more useful. they are a bunch of worthless bums.
i should go there and kick their ass! this situation is ridiculous. i pay a truckloadof money and the internet is… slower than george w. bush’s brain cells! my fã¼hrer, i think you are overreacting.the internet speed is… you shut the fuck up! you ugly nazi faggot! my fã¼hrer, try to calm down. how can i calm down when i think icould sent my emails faster with… … with pigeons!
these ‘technical problems’ with the internet,are like a woman’s period… they come and go every month! every time i try to watch a movieonline… the movie looks like the matrix, becauseeveryone moves in slow motion! even you-tube adverts have to buffer! and the worst thing, is that i cantplay call of duty online… …with stalin! i can’t even watch porn. but i’m a man… and a man has needs.
my blood is boiling! no torrents… we are not allowed to download anybloody torrents! for fuck’s sake! i had to give 10 fucking pounds at hmv, forjustin bieber’s new album! skype is totally fucked up! it’s so fucked up it looks like a slide show! how am i supposed to have cybersexwith the bitches?! don’t worry, the common room has wi-fi.
i just miss the old days. when i could freely surf the web and watch… … happy tree friends. i’m bored…as shit! i’m so bored i’m even considering ofcommitting suicide for a second time… to hang myself with my internet wire. go get me some noodles.